声声似

      婚后的种种综合症频发的时候，各种感触都搅混在一起化不开的时候，眼前的影子一直挥不去的时候，不知道要如何坚强的时候，突然，

      一道阳光刺破昏暗，给了我珍贵的力量。

     奢望的同传室终于建好，而且即将进行召集人马进行培训。

     激动又紧张，毕竟还从来没有跨进真正的同传室过。离同传室最近的一次，是站在它的大门口，却不敢跨进去一步，仿佛没有万全的准备，会被里面的精神高压压扁。这两天，居然就要触碰到那些神圣的同传间、话筒和大耳塞，天，真的会晕掉的。

     这次豁出去了，怎么都得干，不干后悔一辈子！

     清理想法的时候，发现自己总是会在做事的半途中停下来，然后往另一个方向行进，然后继续转弯。

     玩QQ农场，开始时兴奋不已，甚至可以一天上去数十次，直到系统提醒我登录过于频繁；现在基本不上，偶尔上去一次还会搞不清状况；

     看夏目友人帐，暗暗下决心要每看一集即写豆瓣评论一篇，结果看了三集之后，尽管依然喜欢此片，却不再上豆瓣，更不要说写文；

      以上都是小娱乐，或许没有什么说服力，真正的持续作战的毅力是在大事上体现出来的，问题是，大事到来时，我的热力消退得比任何人都要快。

     走在专业道路上，你能做的更多不是去拉拢人际，而是如何把专业做到更精。然而，懂这个道理并不代表会去做，28岁的我，突然发现自己更喜欢把空闲时间用来和无关的人瞎扯谈，看无聊电影，听口水歌，勤奋带来的满足感，越来越难以体会到。

     虽然我明白那种感觉有多么好。

     心中的目标一直都在闪烁，但是自己的脚步却越来越缓慢，脑筋也更加懒惰，不愿去思考严肃的问题，我似乎又走到一个岔路口了。这几年，安稳地教着书，看着现在的大学比曾经更加荒谬，不免觉得人生讽刺。我仿佛把自己定位在大学边缘，一个喜欢教学，却更希望从事自由职业的不安定老师。每走过实现梦想专业的一段路，我都会偏离15度角，去妥协于生活的现实，和内心的懦弱。统计一下，已经在不知不觉中偏移了45度了。真想伸手把那根小指针调回最终的方向。

     有些事情，或许我一辈子也做不到，比如安分地呆在家里烧菜带孩子，比如捏着绣针完成一幅巨大的十字绣，但是，有的路，我总觉得自己可以走下去，这条路，必定与文字有关。我得开辟一条岔路，让自己从45度角的方向跑回到正途上来，不管速度快慢，一定要告诉我自己，我真的可以。

     如果一生能有一件真的做完做好的事情，而它又恰恰是你的专业，是不是会感觉非常幸福？

For the past half a year, I have been in a project with two other colleagues: an assistant professor and a teaching assistant. Prof. Duan is our boss, who is middle-aged and full of passion.  When he invited me in to work with them and asked for my personal opinions about the research, I felt trust in him. So I took it. However, he ceased to praise me since the team first met. I would like to think that he is strict with everybody and inclines to keep bossy face on. But that he keeps praising the other colleague really turns me down. He "offially" told me that he took her as his "adopted daughter", and he never hides his appreciation for her dress or comments. What he invests in her is what he ignores in me. I have been confident, being nice to others, and very aware of keeping myself professional. Yet, I am truly deflated now.  Today, when the team meets again, he repeatedly threw out nice words about her, I was more hurt than disappointed. I don't know what I did wrong.

I think someone is having the same problem as me. And the following tips might help you as they did to me.

How To Deal With A Difficult Boss

By Tristan Loo

1. Know that you can do little to change them. Being a difficult person is part of their personality and therefore it is a very difficult, if not impossible thing to change in a supervisor, so don’t think that you can change how they act. Instead, change the way that you view their behavior. Don’t label them as being a jerk--just merely label them as your boss. By avoiding derogatory labeling, you avoid making it easy on yourself to be angry with your boss.

2. Keep your professional face on. Know the difference between not liking your boss and not being professional. You don’t have to make your boss your friend or even like your boss as a person, but you do have to remain professional and get the job done and carry out their instructions dutifully as a subordinate, just as you would expect them to be professional as do their duties as a supervisor.

3. Evaluate your own performance. Before you go attacking your boss, examine your own performance and ask yourself if you are doing everything right. Get opinions from other coworkers about your performance and see if there is any warrant to the criticisms of your supervisor before you criticize their opinions.

4. Document everything. If you choose to stay with a toxic employer, then document everything. This will become your main ammunition should a complaint ever be filed down the road. Document interactions with them as well as your own activities so that you can remind them of your own achievements at performance review time.

5. Leave work at work. Get into the habit of leaving work at home and not bringing it into your personal life because that will only add to your level of stress. Keep your professional life separate from your personal life as best as you can. This also includes having friends who you don’t work with so that you can detach yourself from your work life rather than bringing it home with you.

Wear a smile then!!!

     明天就要去往外地过几天了，出门前的一天最为无聊，常常会不经大脑思考做事。

     输入你的个人信息，找出四页资料，好多都是在同一个网站的留言，几乎全都关于我。

     输入自己的，竟然可以看到博客资料，可以读到所有的博文，顿时觉得好恐怖，如果你看到我的博文怎么办。

     你的留言都很直白，表达清晰，意图明显。

     我的文章都很委婉，力图完美，却显矫情。

     你想要干什么，想要问什么，都会直接给出，没有调侃，只有认真。

     我则情感抒发不断，逗笑不止，誓言满满，最后还是迷茫不知所向。

     我们的记述方式竟然如此不同，就像我们的个性和生活。你不拐弯，不妥协，要就是要，行就是行。我则照顾周到，委曲求全，容易被感动，也容易淡忘。

     我曾以为我的个性多么好，一直劝你要周全，要乐观，现在看来也未见得如此。依然活在憧憬和迷茫中的我，再次看到你的坚定时，竟然有种期待。

     生活造就了我们。我不可能回到从前，以我现在喜欢的形象来改变自己。我已成形。

     总以为是你错过了我，总认为是你的遗憾。

     其实，我何尝不是错过了你呢。不然，哪里会有这么多年的难过和不舍，一直要抽身过自己的日子的人，哪里会这样动不动就要上来理清一下思绪，才可以回到生活中去闭上眼睛。

     从洗手间的窗口看到和你一般身材的人从楼下走过，就要一直看到他从视野里消失才会把目光移开；听到第一次在高中教室里听到的歌曲，就心里感慨不断。每次这样之后，就会怪自己。

     这么多年来只把一件事做到了底，就是没有忘记你。

     失败还是成功？

     想起读研的时候去听过的一场学院组织的同传公司招生推介会，台上的同传老师很年轻，出生于澳洲，有双语背景，大学和研究生时都学的是金融，辅修法律，因为对同传感兴趣，所以将其作为自己的职业。台下的学生很是兴奋，纷纷要老师现场表演，这位老师拿起报纸选了一段地理方面的文字，很快地翻译成英文，学生极为佩服。

     记得我当时坐在这些学生当中，心想着一年后我将毕业寻找工作。同传是我非常熟悉的职业，有心往之却又觉得难度极大。但是那种巅峰体验总能让我觉得兴奋。可是，看着台上的这位老师，面如扑克牌，从头到尾都不曾笑过，而且掷地有声地说"Being an interpreter is like being a machine"(同传如机器)。这句通用的评价同传的话，在那一会儿浇灭了我内心的渴望。

     一年后，毕业，艰难地找工作，失去信心，再来过，最后意外地被一所国家重点大学相中，就此开始教书生涯，至今已经快三年。

     每天必看两个博客，一个是我的偶像，Yvonne，另一个是闹闹，今天又增加了一个，非空。

    Yvonne  同传，无比有激情，无比热爱生活，专业一流。

    闹闹 看过之后相信，不信闹闹，你就不会幸福。最欣赏的是闹闹以玩味的态度分析星座，语言有一种不渲染的感染力。

    非空  室内设计师，设计地中海风格无数，收费不低，但是细节成就英雄，创意太牛B。

    我心爱的这些偶像，没有一个在过着行尸走肉的生活，每一个都爱着自己的工作，并对自己要求非常严格。让我钦佩。

    虽然我还会犯网瘾，虽然我常常不知道自己该往何处去，虽然我对生活、爱情总是迷惘，但是我知道，我的生活值得我去爱。

    不论是带着一群大小孩子学习，还是坚持学习英文以提高专业水准，我都爱着我所为。

    每当想起那一张扑克牌的脸，我就告诉自己，如果你真的做着你感兴趣的事情，那就多换几个角度去看它，或许你会有更多的收获。